Thursday, August 28, 2014

Five Stages of Grief--while book shopping--for the broke and bookish

1. Denial--It's not just a river in Egypt. (Wow. That sounds really lame.) It's real folks.


Going to the bookstore when you really can't afford a book(s) is it's own denial--why? Because, you're going to tempt yourself something awful. You're going to see all of these amazing reads and you ARE going to want to buy them even though you can't really afford them, and you'll pick them up anyway. Don't do this to yourself. It's masochistic.

OR

You go in with the intentions to buy one or two books no more.
 If you are book crazed like I am--you're also a dream weaver, IF you believe for one second that you'll be able to go into the bookstore and just pick up only those said number of books and walk away. HA!

OR

You go in knowing you can't afford even a bookmark. That my friends is denial.

2. Anger


You cannot buy the book. You really can't. Your pockets are empty save for a piece of lint. Now, you're just angry. You curse the bookstore, the shelves, and Harper's Collins and above for making the book so expensive. You're job doesn't pay you enough. The world has it out for you.  It possibly a conspiracy. (Okay, maybe that's a little extreme.)
 All you want is the book. Is that so bad?

3. Bargaining

How you bargain depends on the person. You may exchange menial labor for a couple of dollars or you may guilt trip someone, collect on old debts, whatever it takes and whatever works to get that book. I've been known to bargain a bit to get a new book--if needed.
Don't judge me.

4.  Depression

When none of your bargaining, denial or anger works you become depressed.
You only want to know what happened to your favorite characters in the sequel and no one seems to get that. Nobody seems to care--so you just sit with a pint of ice cream and get bluer than Eeyore. (This may or may not really happen.)

5. Acceptance (Irritating attempt at patience.)


You put on your faux happy face and you accept or at least (attempt) pretend to accept that you will not get the book but in fact you will. It just won't be today. BUT you will get that book. Maybe your grandmother will send you five dollars for your birthday. OR maybe the bookstore offers a coupon. But you accept that you have to wait for that moment. BUT you will get that book if it's the last thing you do.

OR

You say screw any stages of grief, screw the cellphone bill, and the lunch you have to buy and you buy the book...


and walk out of the store like a gangster.




15 comments:

  1. Thank you for making me face the truth! Usually when I'm at the bookstore with no money, I make my parents buy my books. hehe. But I get really really sad when I can't get the books I want at a bookstore.

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  2. Lol this is hilarious! I hate to admit it (sort of), but I've never felt any of these stages of book grief. Either my mother buys me the book or she doesn't. If she doesn't, I borrow it from the library. Your life sounds much more interesting XD

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    1. Haha! It's not I'm just a little more emotional and dramatic when it comes to books.

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  3. Haha this is a constant problem in my world :) HATE IT!!

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  4. Hahahaha I love this! It's so much fun and so true! I'm sure we all want to be the gangster ;)

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  5. Hahaha you hit straight home! I go through all these stages every.single.time. Because of this, I just try to stay away from bookstores altogether until I have some money with me, lol.

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  6. This is such truth!!! Preach on!!!

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  7. Oh this is amazing! A+ gif use! I go through these stages every time I walk into a bookstore (unless, miraculously, I have saved enough to buy the books I want) and generally end up walking out with tons of books, despite the guilt of it all. Awesome post!

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  8. "Denial--It's not just a river in Egypt" THIS WAS GOOD

    Ugh, but I'm definitely buying less and less books because of how little money I have for them. le sigh. I will wait for people to give me money/give me books!

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    1. Trust me. I understand. I have the same problem!

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  10. Ahahaha OMG this is like THE best post ever! This is me like every single day.

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  11. LOL this is SO true!! Nice post!!

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  12. Oh my god, I loved this post. I can't stop laughing, it's too true. I have all of these when I go into bookshops. I am also very bad at skipping all the stages, not worrying about the bills I have to pay, buying all the books I want, leaving the store like a gangsta... then weeping over my bank balance later ;)

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